When you share what you know

It’s International Working Out Loud Week (18-24 November 2019) and a good time to reflect on the things that can happen when you open up and share the things you know.

I should know! Just a little over two years ago, I got out of the corporate world and began my own communication and social media practice. Back then, I spent time travelling and deepening my connections with people who were interested in the same things as me.

Today, I’m still a big believer in ‘working out loud’ and sharing what you know. In fact, I get a little anxious when I don’t feel like I’m lifting my weight here, which can happen when things get busy.  Here’s why I’m a big fan of working in a visible way and why I think you might benefit too.

When you share what you know, you will:

1. Expand your connections – Powered by social media, sharing what I know has enabled me to make connections and meet people I might otherwise have not had the opportunity to meet. The icing on the cake is I’ve been able to connect with many of these amazing people ‘in real life’ too.

2. Add value to your network – Something that’s common-sense to you could be a revelation for someone else. Digital workplace futurist Dion Hinchliffe once told me: “As far as we think we’ve come in the digital age, there’s always someone who’s cave painting.” Don’t discount sharing the simplest of your lessons.

3. Build your credibility – Another great advocate of sharing what you know, Euan Semple, wrote in his book Organisations Don’t Tweet, People Do that “sharing what you know doesn’t diminish its worth but instead increases its value”. The more you share, the better your chances of building your impact and influence.

4. Get asked to do things – When you take the time to share what you know and care about and reflect that in your ‘digital footprint’, people get to know what you can offer and ask you to contribute to all sorts of interesting projects. One opportunity begets another and another and so it goes. There’s no better fun than that.

5. Help solve problems – A problem shared is a problem halved. Whether you’re contributing knowledge to help someone else, or you’re seeking answers, sharing what you know in a visible way helps people and communities get answers faster than they could trying to do the job via email or asking the usual suspects.

6. Get back as much as you give – You may believe it’s safer to keep your insights and opinions to yourself. That way no one gets hurt. The reality is, when you share what you know on a regular basis and are genuinely helpful, over time the benefit tends to come back to you in spades. Don’t be afraid to give.

“If you don’t share what you know, how does anyone know that you know it?”

I coach executives on why it pays to be socially engaged. I find myself saying to many of them: “If you don’t share what you know, how does anyone know that you know it?” It causes many of them to stop and think about whether they are investing enough time in building mutually beneficial networks and relationships for the long term. I am particularly passionate about women finding their voice via social too – many of us still listen to the voice in our head that says we don’t have anything valuable to share. Stop it, ladies!

Sharing what you know need not be impolite when it comes from a good place. So this week, during Working Out Loud Week, let go. Be a little vulnerable. Ask the Twittersphere a question. Offer advice to stop someone else’s train from crashing. Share some work in progress and ask how it could be improved. You may be surprised at the response you get.

International Working Out Loud Week promotes the practice of working out loud. The goal of a week dedicated to working out loud is to create the circumstances where individuals and organisations are prepared to experiment with working out loud. This is achieved by celebrating working out loud and creating opportunities to connect individuals and organisations with others practicing and learning ways to work out loud.

The rules of civility and decent behaviour in social media. AKA what would George Washington do?

Recently a dear friend suggested I read The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles. Set in the late 1930s in NYC, it’s a seductive and a mesmerising read for fans of old Big Apple glamour and the influence of chance encounters on our lives.

The book’s title is inspired by George Washington’s Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation. Towles imagined these ‘rules’ were most likely studied by Tinker, one of the book’s ambitious main characters, so he included them at the end of his work.

Washington’s rules cover everything from how you should conduct yourself in public (don’t kill fleas, lice and ticks in the sight of others) to how you should dress (in your apparel be modest), eat (drink not nor talk with your mouth full) and how you should engage with others (think before you speak).

The rules led me to think about the intense scrutiny of social media platforms right now. We’re reading about fake accounts, bots, and buying followers online. Fake YouTube views. Social media users worn out by angry, disrespectful online interactions about politics. Social media platforms hitting rock-bottom in rankings of people’s favourite brands. And recently social media executives were again in the spotlight at congressional hearings on online election interference, talking about the steps they are taking to clean up and secure their services.

Stir all this together and it’s no wonder we’re asking ourselves whether social media has had its time in the sun. Is it still useful? Should we engage? Should we close down our accounts?

There’s still plenty of value in social media engagement, but it’s up to us to behave like decent, empathetic human beings in the process.

Little did George Washington know that when he penned his rules, he was writing the guidelines for civilised behaviour in social media. Here’s my take of a selection of his rules to guide your thinking about the insights you want to share, finding your voice and nailing what you want to be known for in the social world.

Your insights 

Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself professes; it savors of arrogance. You’ll have your insights and experiences to share in social and so will others. If you haven’t been in someone else’s shoes, then don’t try and tell them they’re wrong. Demonstrate respect for the learning and expertise of others.

Go not thither, where you know not, whether you shall be welcome or not. Give not advice without being asked and when desired do it briefly. Consider the value of the insights you share. If you don’t know anything about a subject, then avoid adding noise to the Twittersphere. If you’re asked for your opinion and have an informed view, then share your knowledge and be crisp and concise.

 Your voice

Be not forward but friendly and courteous; the first to salute hear and answer and be not pensive when it’s a time to converse. When you share your work, be prepared to have a conversation about it. Social media is not a one-way street – engage with those who are interested in your insights. There’s nothing more depressing for someone asking a question to hear nothing but crickets.

Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in public or in private; presently, or at some other time in what terms to do it and in reproving show no sign of choler but do it with all sweetness and mildness. Showing no choler is an old-school way of saying don’t be angry or irritable in your interactions. Playing the blame game and getting angry in social media doesn’t help you. If you have an issue with a post someone’s targeted at you, consider whether social is the right place to respond. If it is, then deal with the substance of the post in a calm way.

Your brand

Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for ‘is better to be alone than in bad company. To me, men (and women) of good quality are those people with whom I can have a respectful banter about subject matter we’re interested in. Focus your energy on sharing what you know with those who may benefit from your learning and experience. Don’t sweat the trolls trying to drag you down. Leave them be.

Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience. Of all the rules, when it comes to thinking about your brand and reputation in social, I think Washington nailed it with this one. Show up regularly, be open and have empathy for others. Then you’ll be well on the road to building a great reputation based on engaging in social with integrity.

If you haven’t had the pleasure of reading Washington’s rules, do so. They’re informative and fun. In the meantime, before you send an angry tweet or spam your network, take a deep breath and ask yourself: what would George Washington do? If we take a leaf out of his rule book, we can lift the tone of conversations and behaviour in social media, but it starts with us.

Don’t be a passenger. Get in the driver’s seat with social

My first car was a 1986 first generation Hyundai Excel. It was blue, with a clunky gear box and a 70-horsepower, 1.5-litre motor. It could go from zero to 100kph in around 13 seconds (my best guess).

Yes, it was an underdog in the motoring world, but I loved it. The first time I jumped into my car as a licensed driver, I was excited and I imagined all the road trips I'd go on with my mates in the future.

Having wheels gave me an incredible sense of independence and control. No longer a passenger at the mercy of public transport or my exceedingly chatty chauffeur (my dad), I was in the driver’s seat and in charge of the car.

Managing your social media is just like being in a car. If you stay in the passenger seat, you’re at the mercy of the driver. The only way to truly stay in control and manage your impact and influence in social is to jump in the driver’s seat.

The only way to truly stay in control and manage your impact and influence in social is to jump in the driver’s seat.

 I’ve written about the importance of being social before.  In particular, I believe women need to get over the self-talk that making themselves visible is not a ‘nice’ thing to do. Let’s park that for now (sorry – bad pun).

The key to not feeling overwhelmed by social media is to engage in it thoughtfully. Here’s a model I like to use when I’m helping clients learn how to get in the driver’s seat and take control of their social media engagement.

My insights. Think about what it is you want to share and why. What subject matter are you an expert in? What are you trying to achieve? Remember, using social in a purposeful way can be about your work agenda or something personal.

My voice. How will you share what you know and create value for your followers? Finding your voice is about identifying where your audience is and the right channels to engage in generous, open conversations about your subject matter.

My brand. Think about how you want to be perceived. Even before someone meets you, your social media footprint will tell a story about who you are and what you stand for. Consistency is key. Keep this in mind when you’re working out what you’ll share on social and how you’ll do it.

Working out what you want to share, how you’ll create value and how you want others to perceive you will give you the beginnings of a roadmap in how to navigate social.  

The most important step of all in social, however, is to stop being a passenger and jump into the driver’s seat.

Plan the trip, invite your community along for the ride and then get behind the wheel and drive. When it comes to being social, the journey is just as much fun as arriving at your destination.

Don't be nice, ladies. Be social

Today I bought a book on Etsy called Frankly Feminine. It was written in the 1960s and is full of information and advice for women about beauty, manners, home-making, how to keep your husband happy and so on.

It’ll be the thing that comes out at a dinner party. Something to laugh at around the table and make us feel good about ourselves, because it’s 2018 and women have come a long way, right?

Let’s dive in.

“There is no real equality between the sexes, and those who think otherwise are merely deluding themselves,” writes the author.

“Women have freedom, opportunity, but this doesn’t put them on the same footing as men. Fortunately, we aren’t natural world-shakers.” Ahem.

Consider this depressing view of a woman’s alleged lot in life alongside a survey undertaken last year in the US on gender differences. Pew Research Center found the traits American society values the most in women are physical attractiveness and being nurturing, kind and empathetic. But when it comes to men, society most values honesty, morality and professional success. 

These expectations don’t bode well for the sisterhood. The ongoing subliminal message being delivered to women day after day is: be sympathetic, be nice and don’t worry about being a professional ‘world shaker’.

The vibe’s there when I talk to some of my female friends and clients about using social media. They’ll say things like: “I don’t have anything interesting or useful to share.” Or “If I put my thoughts out there, people may not agree with me.”

We’ve been conditioned to think being visible in social media is not a ‘nice’ thing to do.

With this kind of negative self-talk going on, it’s no wonder there are still many women who haven’t considered using social to help themselves progress, personally or professionally. We’ve been conditioned to think being visible in social media is not a ‘nice’ thing to do.

The reality is social is a great leveller, enabling women’s voices to be heard and powerful networks to be built in efficient ways. Used thoughtfully, social media can help you get work done, shape your career, achieve a personal goal and, over time, even help you engineer your legacy.

Social is a great leveller, enabling women’s voices to be heard and powerful networks to be built in efficient ways.

Being social was a factor in my decision to set up my own business. When I left my corporate job, I was supported by a global network of people who were prepared to help me get things off the ground. One Twitter follower said: “We’re your community. Just tell us what you need.” I would not have had access to this kindness without making the decision to invest in social some years ago. 

The Frankly Feminine tome of the 1960s may state that women are not ‘natural world shakers’. And that’s OK, because in 2018, harnessing social media to build your impact and influence is a skill that can be learned. 

This new year, have a conversation with a woman you know who’s been reluctant to be social. It could be your sister, daughter, aunt, wife, niece or a colleague. Talk to them about the value and opportunities you’ve gained through social media.

They may decide to stop being so damn nice all the time and try being social instead.