All work and no play makes you dull and boring on LinkedIn

Set in the snowed-in Overlook Hotel, the movie The Shining features winter caretaker Jack Torrence holed up in his study, day after day, attempting to write a book.

Making a buck looking after an empty hotel while churning out a book seemed like a win-win. But, as in all decent horror movies, it wasn’t meant to be.

Fast forward to the iconic scene featuring Jack’s wife Wendy approaching Jack’s typewriter with great trepidation, wanting to see what he’s been writing. Instead of finding a well-progressed manuscript, she’s horrified to see hundreds of pages featuring the same blurb typed over and over again:

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Most certainly an horrific display of writer’s block in the movie, it’s an old proverb that means working all the time and not making space for things that bring you joy is unhealthy.

This is a great lesson for how I believe we should show up on LinkedIn.

Many people assume because LinkedIn is a professional network we should only present one dimension of ourselves: the ‘work’ self. The trouble is, being all work and no play is boring and doesn’t set us apart from the crowd.

Further, journeying through the pandemic made us appreciate the value of showing up in a genuine and transparent way. Kids, cats and dogs appeared in Zoom meetings. So too did beards and gym gear. We picked up new hobbies. We may be venturing back to the office, but people’s wellbeing still matters.

We owe it to each other to show up in a balanced way on LinkedIn instead of pretending we have nothing else going on but work.

Here’s what you can do to go beyond your ‘work’ self and show up with a life in LinkedIn:

• Tailor your background banner – The grey banner behind your head is customisable. Instead of a picture of you presenting at a conference or a company logo, pop in an image that resonates on a more personal level. It could be where you like to holiday, the city you live in, or where you like to ride your bike.

• Make your headline more than your day job – Are you a recruiter who is a life-long learner? A consultant passionate about animal welfare? A kick-boxing banker? You can go beyond your job title to reinforce the things that matter to you by extending your headline with a second sentence or additional key words.

• Tell me what you care about – In addition to covering your areas of expertise in your summary (About section), explain why you enjoy doing what you do and describe the difference you’re trying to make. This could be a work-related passion or a contribution you make in your community, such as volunteering, or participation in a professional association.

• Mention your personal interests and hobbies – I promise your IQ will not be diminished if you mention that you like to surf, sing or dance the tango. In fact, it will make you more interesting. Noting hobbies and personal interests in your LinkedIn summary is a great way to set yourself apart. It could even act as a conversation starter in a connection request.

• Don’t sound like a textbook – When you post, write the way you speak. Use informal language, rather than textbook or corporate speak. When sharing content, point out its value. Tell me a story. Ask questions to encourage a conversation. Save 10% of your bandwidth for sharing a personal achievement or milestone.  All these things will make you more interesting, interested and relatable.

Did you know our “all work and no play” proverb has a second part?

All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.

In the context of LinkedIn, I take this to mean: don’t go overboard on the personal stuff and seek balance in how you show up. After all, LinkedIn is still a professional social media network.

So, go on and open up a little more. Tell me what you like to do on the weekends. You’ll be way more interesting to me if you do.

Six lessons about connection from a karaoke night out

Earlier this year, I went to a karaoke night in Chicago with my cousin, Angela. It was at little bar above a hamburger joint. There were props galore, a great sound system, a huge song library, a spotlight trained on the stage and a receptive audience waiting for the show to begin. 

Angela orchestrated the visit, including putting me on the list of people to sing. Without. Asking. Me. First.

After first wishing a lightning bolt would come and strike down Angela, I immediately thought to myself: I can’t do it. Too many people will be watching me. I’ll be judged. What if people boo me off the stage? In that moment, I believed I could in fact die of embarrassment in a karaoke bar.

Let’s park my karaoke predicament for just a second and focus on a different kind of performance.

Imagine I’m at work in my office job. A new enterprise social tool has just been launched to help lift collaboration, improve productivity and so on. My manager says to me: “Our enterprise social network is our new, visible place to get things done. Yes, thousands of pairs of eyes will be watching you, but get out of your email, jump in there and go collaborate!”

In both these situations, it’s little wonder people’s hearts start racing at the thought of others assessing their very visible performance.

There’s a lot more at stake when it comes to performing at work versus performing on the karaoke stage.

For starters, there’s the obvious performance anxiety. According to Gallup, 40% of adults dread speaking in front of an audience. Was it Jerry Seinfeld who said the average person at a funeral would rather be in the casket than give the eulogy?

For the vast majority of people though, there’s a lot more at stake when it comes to performing at work versus performing on the karaoke stage.

According to an exploratory study on employee silence, employees stay tight-lipped about problems and issues at work because they’re fearful of being viewed negatively and they’re concerned about the knock-on effects this will have on their relationships at work. And just as I thought I might die of embarrassment from singing on stage, the research showed employees are genuinely fearful of their career prospects suffering as a result of speaking up.

Yet, there were some forces at work that eventually made me feel comfortable about getting up on stage to sing. Here are six lessons from a karaoke night out to encourage people to fight their fears and try a new social way of working:

1.    Karaoke is valued in a karaoke bar. When you’re in a karaoke bar, you’re immersing yourself in a culture that values singing. The music, lights and enthusiastic audience all contribute to an environment in which you feel it’s safe to perform. Similarly, to encourage people to step out of their silos and connect, design an environment that demonstrates people’s voices matter. Things like open and honest leadership communication and rewarding great ideas show that people’s contribution is genuinely valued in your organisation.

2.    Leaders show you how to sing by doing it themselves. The first thing the lead for the karaoke evening did that night in the bar was to kick off proceedings by belting out a couple of numbers herself. If you want people in your organisation to connect and speak up, leaders had better not just ask others to do it; they must do it themselves. Great leaders show up, ask questions, applaud their people and take action on what they see and hear.

3.    Think about your audience and pick great songs. The key to a fun time in a karaoke bar is choosing great songs you’ll feel comfortable performing and you know the audience will probably enjoy too. In enterprise social, figure out what you want to be known for and how you can add value to others and post on those topics. When you engage in conversations about your areas of expertise or even a personal passion, you’ll feel confident posting and your audience will know you’re the real deal.

4.    Watch others sing for a while before taking the plunge. Watching lots of other people get up and perform can make you feel more comfortable about your own karaoke experience. If you want people to try enterprise social tools, then let new users build their confidence by watching and learning from others. From a communications perspective, highlighting success stories of people using social tools also work well as examples for others to follow.

5.    No one acts like a jerk at a karaoke night out. No one really cares if you can sing or not – karaoke is about having a good time with your friends. No one is there to boo and hiss you off the stage, but I’ll bet if anyone did, they’d probably be thrown out. Don’t act like a jerk in enterprise social - the network will simply do the work to put you back in your place. Be respectful.

6.    The risk is worth the reward. Do a half reasonable job of your karaoke experience and you will most likely be rewarded for your efforts with a big round of applause. So it goes in enterprise social. If you make an effort to step out and connect in a way that will add value, your audience will appreciate it and you’ll begin to build your reputation as an expert inside your organisation.

Having survived my karaoke experience – and dare I say having enjoyed it just a little bit - I may go back for another round at some stage in the future. Likewise, if the conditions are just right for a social way of working, then we should see our people go back for more in their enterprise social networks too.  

The rules of civility and decent behaviour in social media. AKA what would George Washington do?

Recently a dear friend suggested I read The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles. Set in the late 1930s in NYC, it’s a seductive and a mesmerising read for fans of old Big Apple glamour and the influence of chance encounters on our lives.

The book’s title is inspired by George Washington’s Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation. Towles imagined these ‘rules’ were most likely studied by Tinker, one of the book’s ambitious main characters, so he included them at the end of his work.

Washington’s rules cover everything from how you should conduct yourself in public (don’t kill fleas, lice and ticks in the sight of others) to how you should dress (in your apparel be modest), eat (drink not nor talk with your mouth full) and how you should engage with others (think before you speak).

The rules led me to think about the intense scrutiny of social media platforms right now. We’re reading about fake accounts, bots, and buying followers online. Fake YouTube views. Social media users worn out by angry, disrespectful online interactions about politics. Social media platforms hitting rock-bottom in rankings of people’s favourite brands. And recently social media executives were again in the spotlight at congressional hearings on online election interference, talking about the steps they are taking to clean up and secure their services.

Stir all this together and it’s no wonder we’re asking ourselves whether social media has had its time in the sun. Is it still useful? Should we engage? Should we close down our accounts?

There’s still plenty of value in social media engagement, but it’s up to us to behave like decent, empathetic human beings in the process.

Little did George Washington know that when he penned his rules, he was writing the guidelines for civilised behaviour in social media. Here’s my take of a selection of his rules to guide your thinking about the insights you want to share, finding your voice and nailing what you want to be known for in the social world.

Your insights 

Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself professes; it savors of arrogance. You’ll have your insights and experiences to share in social and so will others. If you haven’t been in someone else’s shoes, then don’t try and tell them they’re wrong. Demonstrate respect for the learning and expertise of others.

Go not thither, where you know not, whether you shall be welcome or not. Give not advice without being asked and when desired do it briefly. Consider the value of the insights you share. If you don’t know anything about a subject, then avoid adding noise to the Twittersphere. If you’re asked for your opinion and have an informed view, then share your knowledge and be crisp and concise.

 Your voice

Be not forward but friendly and courteous; the first to salute hear and answer and be not pensive when it’s a time to converse. When you share your work, be prepared to have a conversation about it. Social media is not a one-way street – engage with those who are interested in your insights. There’s nothing more depressing for someone asking a question to hear nothing but crickets.

Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in public or in private; presently, or at some other time in what terms to do it and in reproving show no sign of choler but do it with all sweetness and mildness. Showing no choler is an old-school way of saying don’t be angry or irritable in your interactions. Playing the blame game and getting angry in social media doesn’t help you. If you have an issue with a post someone’s targeted at you, consider whether social is the right place to respond. If it is, then deal with the substance of the post in a calm way.

Your brand

Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for ‘is better to be alone than in bad company. To me, men (and women) of good quality are those people with whom I can have a respectful banter about subject matter we’re interested in. Focus your energy on sharing what you know with those who may benefit from your learning and experience. Don’t sweat the trolls trying to drag you down. Leave them be.

Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience. Of all the rules, when it comes to thinking about your brand and reputation in social, I think Washington nailed it with this one. Show up regularly, be open and have empathy for others. Then you’ll be well on the road to building a great reputation based on engaging in social with integrity.

If you haven’t had the pleasure of reading Washington’s rules, do so. They’re informative and fun. In the meantime, before you send an angry tweet or spam your network, take a deep breath and ask yourself: what would George Washington do? If we take a leaf out of his rule book, we can lift the tone of conversations and behaviour in social media, but it starts with us.

Don't be nice, ladies. Be social

Today I bought a book on Etsy called Frankly Feminine. It was written in the 1960s and is full of information and advice for women about beauty, manners, home-making, how to keep your husband happy and so on.

It’ll be the thing that comes out at a dinner party. Something to laugh at around the table and make us feel good about ourselves, because it’s 2018 and women have come a long way, right?

Let’s dive in.

“There is no real equality between the sexes, and those who think otherwise are merely deluding themselves,” writes the author.

“Women have freedom, opportunity, but this doesn’t put them on the same footing as men. Fortunately, we aren’t natural world-shakers.” Ahem.

Consider this depressing view of a woman’s alleged lot in life alongside a survey undertaken last year in the US on gender differences. Pew Research Center found the traits American society values the most in women are physical attractiveness and being nurturing, kind and empathetic. But when it comes to men, society most values honesty, morality and professional success. 

These expectations don’t bode well for the sisterhood. The ongoing subliminal message being delivered to women day after day is: be sympathetic, be nice and don’t worry about being a professional ‘world shaker’.

The vibe’s there when I talk to some of my female friends and clients about using social media. They’ll say things like: “I don’t have anything interesting or useful to share.” Or “If I put my thoughts out there, people may not agree with me.”

We’ve been conditioned to think being visible in social media is not a ‘nice’ thing to do.

With this kind of negative self-talk going on, it’s no wonder there are still many women who haven’t considered using social to help themselves progress, personally or professionally. We’ve been conditioned to think being visible in social media is not a ‘nice’ thing to do.

The reality is social is a great leveller, enabling women’s voices to be heard and powerful networks to be built in efficient ways. Used thoughtfully, social media can help you get work done, shape your career, achieve a personal goal and, over time, even help you engineer your legacy.

Social is a great leveller, enabling women’s voices to be heard and powerful networks to be built in efficient ways.

Being social was a factor in my decision to set up my own business. When I left my corporate job, I was supported by a global network of people who were prepared to help me get things off the ground. One Twitter follower said: “We’re your community. Just tell us what you need.” I would not have had access to this kindness without making the decision to invest in social some years ago. 

The Frankly Feminine tome of the 1960s may state that women are not ‘natural world shakers’. And that’s OK, because in 2018, harnessing social media to build your impact and influence is a skill that can be learned. 

This new year, have a conversation with a woman you know who’s been reluctant to be social. It could be your sister, daughter, aunt, wife, niece or a colleague. Talk to them about the value and opportunities you’ve gained through social media.

They may decide to stop being so damn nice all the time and try being social instead.