Six lessons about connection from a karaoke night out

Earlier this year, I went to a karaoke night in Chicago with my cousin, Angela. It was at little bar above a hamburger joint. There were props galore, a great sound system, a huge song library, a spotlight trained on the stage and a receptive audience waiting for the show to begin. 

Angela orchestrated the visit, including putting me on the list of people to sing. Without. Asking. Me. First.

After first wishing a lightning bolt would come and strike down Angela, I immediately thought to myself: I can’t do it. Too many people will be watching me. I’ll be judged. What if people boo me off the stage? In that moment, I believed I could in fact die of embarrassment in a karaoke bar.

Let’s park my karaoke predicament for just a second and focus on a different kind of performance.

Imagine I’m at work in my office job. A new enterprise social tool has just been launched to help lift collaboration, improve productivity and so on. My manager says to me: “Our enterprise social network is our new, visible place to get things done. Yes, thousands of pairs of eyes will be watching you, but get out of your email, jump in there and go collaborate!”

In both these situations, it’s little wonder people’s hearts start racing at the thought of others assessing their very visible performance.

There’s a lot more at stake when it comes to performing at work versus performing on the karaoke stage.

For starters, there’s the obvious performance anxiety. According to Gallup, 40% of adults dread speaking in front of an audience. Was it Jerry Seinfeld who said the average person at a funeral would rather be in the casket than give the eulogy?

For the vast majority of people though, there’s a lot more at stake when it comes to performing at work versus performing on the karaoke stage.

According to an exploratory study on employee silence, employees stay tight-lipped about problems and issues at work because they’re fearful of being viewed negatively and they’re concerned about the knock-on effects this will have on their relationships at work. And just as I thought I might die of embarrassment from singing on stage, the research showed employees are genuinely fearful of their career prospects suffering as a result of speaking up.

Yet, there were some forces at work that eventually made me feel comfortable about getting up on stage to sing. Here are six lessons from a karaoke night out to encourage people to fight their fears and try a new social way of working:

1.    Karaoke is valued in a karaoke bar. When you’re in a karaoke bar, you’re immersing yourself in a culture that values singing. The music, lights and enthusiastic audience all contribute to an environment in which you feel it’s safe to perform. Similarly, to encourage people to step out of their silos and connect, design an environment that demonstrates people’s voices matter. Things like open and honest leadership communication and rewarding great ideas show that people’s contribution is genuinely valued in your organisation.

2.    Leaders show you how to sing by doing it themselves. The first thing the lead for the karaoke evening did that night in the bar was to kick off proceedings by belting out a couple of numbers herself. If you want people in your organisation to connect and speak up, leaders had better not just ask others to do it; they must do it themselves. Great leaders show up, ask questions, applaud their people and take action on what they see and hear.

3.    Think about your audience and pick great songs. The key to a fun time in a karaoke bar is choosing great songs you’ll feel comfortable performing and you know the audience will probably enjoy too. In enterprise social, figure out what you want to be known for and how you can add value to others and post on those topics. When you engage in conversations about your areas of expertise or even a personal passion, you’ll feel confident posting and your audience will know you’re the real deal.

4.    Watch others sing for a while before taking the plunge. Watching lots of other people get up and perform can make you feel more comfortable about your own karaoke experience. If you want people to try enterprise social tools, then let new users build their confidence by watching and learning from others. From a communications perspective, highlighting success stories of people using social tools also work well as examples for others to follow.

5.    No one acts like a jerk at a karaoke night out. No one really cares if you can sing or not – karaoke is about having a good time with your friends. No one is there to boo and hiss you off the stage, but I’ll bet if anyone did, they’d probably be thrown out. Don’t act like a jerk in enterprise social - the network will simply do the work to put you back in your place. Be respectful.

6.    The risk is worth the reward. Do a half reasonable job of your karaoke experience and you will most likely be rewarded for your efforts with a big round of applause. So it goes in enterprise social. If you make an effort to step out and connect in a way that will add value, your audience will appreciate it and you’ll begin to build your reputation as an expert inside your organisation.

Having survived my karaoke experience – and dare I say having enjoyed it just a little bit - I may go back for another round at some stage in the future. Likewise, if the conditions are just right for a social way of working, then we should see our people go back for more in their enterprise social networks too.