MAFS: A reality check on mindset
Until several months ago, I’d never watched an episode of Married at First Sight.
Now I’m a MAFS fan.
As an executive coach, I can't help but look at MAFS that way. It's captivating reality TV, full of drama, fun, and surprises. But what really draws me in is how the ‘husbands’ and ‘wives’ navigate the challenges of the marriage experiment. It makes me wonder about their mindset and decision making.
Without singling anyone out, here are my observations about mindset, based on scenes from MAFS:
“I came into this experiment with an open heart and mind.”
Are you willing to try new things? In MAFS, prospective husbands and wives meet for the very first time at their weddings. Sometimes there’s an instant connection; sometimes there isn’t one. Romantic spark or not, the couples who threw themselves into the spirit of the experiment generally had a better time than those who had mentally checked out by the time they were drinking bubbles at their wedding reception.
“I don’t want to stuff him/her around, so I’m choosing to leave.”
Are you resilient or do you give up easily? On MAFS, choosing to “leave” at the first Commitment Ceremony is a clear sign a husband or wife (sometimes both) want to exit the experiment, asap. Those who chose to “stay” for longer however, were often happy that they did. Your personal capacity to recover and persist can make a difference to outcomes.
“I love to hold a grudge … I’m pretty proud of it.”
Do you have a growth vs fixed mindset? One wife in MAFS enjoyed nothing better than holding a grudge. She was proud of it. Her husband and many others in the experiment thought it was unhealthy and unsocial behaviour, while she said he just had to suck it up. Believing you are who you are and your skills and talents are innate and unchangeable will most likely hinder your growth.
“We’re doing things together and it’s much easier to be with him now”
Powerful or powerless? One MAFS wife sat on the couch for hours every day while her partner went to the gym for hours. She was unhappy about it, but felt painted into a corner and unable to change her situation. It didn’t end well. Self-belief, especially when it comes to your ability to succeed, is the difference between being in or out of control of your destiny.
“We’ve tried really hard together to make this relationship work.”
Are you adaptable or inflexible? The couples who listened to the advice from the MAFS ‘experts’ and adjusted their behaviour generally had a better time than those who were unwilling to change. At a bare minimum, they knew they could walk away from the experiment knowing they had tried everything to make their relationships work.
I can be an overthinker at times and let my mind run away with me, but getting married to a complete stranger on national television would take overthinking and managing your mindset to a whole other level!
I think getting through the ups and downs of MAFS would be like navigating the ups and downs of work and life — you need to adapt, stay strong, and stay open-minded to come out on top.
Just as the couples on MAFS sought guidance from the experiment’s ‘experts’ to improve their relationships, we can benefit from professional support to enhance our mindset and approach to challenges.
So, if you find yourself struggling to manage your mindset in work or life, consider me your executive coaching expert ready to help you navigate the twists and turns with confidence and grace.
If you’re interested in how executive coaching can help you, get in touch.
