Don't be nice, ladies. Be social

Today I bought a book on Etsy called Frankly Feminine. It was written in the 1960s and is full of information and advice for women about beauty, manners, home-making, how to keep your husband happy and so on.

It’ll be the thing that comes out at a dinner party. Something to laugh at around the table and make us feel good about ourselves, because it’s 2018 and women have come a long way, right?

Let’s dive in.

“There is no real equality between the sexes, and those who think otherwise are merely deluding themselves,” writes the author.

“Women have freedom, opportunity, but this doesn’t put them on the same footing as men. Fortunately, we aren’t natural world-shakers.” Ahem.

Consider this depressing view of a woman’s alleged lot in life alongside a survey undertaken last year in the US on gender differences. Pew Research Center found the traits American society values the most in women are physical attractiveness and being nurturing, kind and empathetic. But when it comes to men, society most values honesty, morality and professional success. 

These expectations don’t bode well for the sisterhood. The ongoing subliminal message being delivered to women day after day is: be sympathetic, be nice and don’t worry about being a professional ‘world shaker’.

The vibe’s there when I talk to some of my female friends and clients about using social media. They’ll say things like: “I don’t have anything interesting or useful to share.” Or “If I put my thoughts out there, people may not agree with me.”

We’ve been conditioned to think being visible in social media is not a ‘nice’ thing to do.

With this kind of negative self-talk going on, it’s no wonder there are still many women who haven’t considered using social to help themselves progress, personally or professionally. We’ve been conditioned to think being visible in social media is not a ‘nice’ thing to do.

The reality is social is a great leveller, enabling women’s voices to be heard and powerful networks to be built in efficient ways. Used thoughtfully, social media can help you get work done, shape your career, achieve a personal goal and, over time, even help you engineer your legacy.

Social is a great leveller, enabling women’s voices to be heard and powerful networks to be built in efficient ways.

Being social was a factor in my decision to set up my own business. When I left my corporate job, I was supported by a global network of people who were prepared to help me get things off the ground. One Twitter follower said: “We’re your community. Just tell us what you need.” I would not have had access to this kindness without making the decision to invest in social some years ago. 

The Frankly Feminine tome of the 1960s may state that women are not ‘natural world shakers’. And that’s OK, because in 2018, harnessing social media to build your impact and influence is a skill that can be learned. 

This new year, have a conversation with a woman you know who’s been reluctant to be social. It could be your sister, daughter, aunt, wife, niece or a colleague. Talk to them about the value and opportunities you’ve gained through social media.

They may decide to stop being so damn nice all the time and try being social instead. 

Weight training and finding your enterprise social muscles

I’d participated in Bodypump classes for years and years before finally getting up the guts to go and train to become an instructor. It was a big deal for me. Ask me to get up in front of a crowd and make a presentation about communications or social and I’m at ease. But when it came time to certify as an instructor, the thought of submitting a video of me coaching a class in how to execute deadlifts, squats and lunges was terrifying. The road of certification was very different to anything I’d ever navigated before.

I wish I’d taken the leap sooner because it’s so much fun! I look forward to every class I teach. My participants and I sweat bucket loads and our muscles burn. Over time, our weights have become heavier, our limbs leaner and more toned. We return for more again and again. We’ve found ourselves part of a wonderful virtuous cycle, spurred on by the great things resistance training was doing for our bodies.

"Building your enterprise social muscle plays out in the same way as it does with weight training in the gym."

McKinsey talks about the evolution of social technologies occurring in three stages, taking companies from trial and error use, to collaboration and managing knowledge and on to the Nirvana of harnessing social to democratise strategy. 

In my experience, building your enterprise social muscle plays out in the same way as it does with weight training in the gym. As McKinsey points out, once you make the leap and use social at work in more purposeful ways, you’ll get a bigger benefit from it. You have the opportunity to get into what I’m calling a virtuous social business cycle.

Here’s how:

• Connect – We make a conscious decision to move out of our silos. We listen. We post, without having an expectation of where a response may come from. We may be excited or anxious about what people will think about our post.

• Collaborate – The social habit forms as we feel the love from colleagues who engage with us. We make our work visible. We share what we know to help others kick business goals. We're adding value.

• Act – We embed social in the flow of our work, making the most of it to solve business problems and tap into new ideas. We’re action-oriented, not passive by-standers.

• Achieve – With the right people doing the right things in enterprise social, organisations committed to getting real work done in open and transparent ways will achieve better business results. The virtuous social business cycle is at work and we return to it again and again. 

Just like my Bodypump experience, getting into a virtuous social business cycle will help organisations find enterprise social muscles they never knew existed. And who doesn’t want great muscles, really?